You Are The Reason I Smile

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and in the middle of nowhere, you find the one you truly love.

The universe throws things at us all the time. Sometimes they are positive and sometimes they are negative. They can be opportunities or challenges. Sometimes they are like mountains and other times they are like valleys. They can make you smile or they can make you sad.

Kris Vallotton postulates,

“There is no victory without a battle, no testimony without a test and no miracle without an impossible circumstance.”

Behind every public achievement, there is a private pain but your greatest success comes out of your deepest hurt. Despite the setbacks, you can rebound if you remain focused and positive as you chase your dreams.

Rebuilding my little world was difficult and seemed forever. I accepted what life threw at me and decided to move forward, taking it one day at a time. I trusted God to lead me in the path that I must trod and I humbled myself as I faced the unknown. His words reminded me to be strong and of good courage because He will be with me wherever I go. I was cautious but not fearful.

I enjoyed the peace of mind a single life offers. I became very picky about who I allowed in my life or in my living space. It isn’t easy living a single life as such status doesn’t go unnoticed. As men tried to get my attention, I relied on God for direction.

The proposals came from different directions and some arguments seemed so convincing but my roadmap had the word,”WAIT” boldly written all over it. I am now convinced that I was waiting on the right person at the right time.

Patience is a virtue but sometimes it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. On many days, my sacrifice to God was a broken and contrite heart but He listened and understood my true feelings. His love is unconditional. I planted the seed of faith and as it grew, I learned how to wait on the Lord.
I endured the pain of loneliness and placed the broken pieces before the Him.

He knows the plans He has for me and I waited for Him to put those broken pieces back together. The Scripture tells us that those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not be faint. I believe these words and apply them to my life daily.

I became a cheerful giver, but I never allowed myself to be used. Another relationship was the farthest thing from my mind. I just didn’t think I could love again because I felt like my late husband took a part of my heart with him when he transitioned.

As I waited, I became stronger because no one else was in my corner to defend me. I became smarter because I learned from the mistakes of my past. I tried to live a happy life because of the sadness I experienced on my journey. Despite this selfless effort, something was missing but I just couldn’t find it out.

During those sleepless nights, I missed the warm embrace of a man’s arms around me but I still felt the touch of God’s loving hands, so warm and tender, assuring me that it is well. Tears became my pillow and the language that only God understands. In those tearful moments, I ask Him to give me another chance and show me a sign when He is ready for me to meet that special person. I had no idea who was out there in the universe waiting to greet me but I trusted God.

Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, my childhood boyfriend appeared. We both discovered that our life is like two separated pieces of wood with ashes covering the fire at one end of each piece. We blew away the ashes and it wasn’t long before the flame began to dance in the wind. Today, it is with a deep feeling of gratitude that I say, “You make me smile again”

My little world is glowing with love, acceptance, and happiness. I have closed the door on the past and I am starting over. With a series of new thoughts and emotions flowing like cascading waterfalls, I connect with the universe and smile again.

So my special friend, it is not by accident that after forty-six long years, we have crossed path again. God looked beyond my faults and saw my needs. He has given me another chance to share my love, my warm personality, and my dreams with someone I truly love. You are in my thoughts but you remain anonymous. Today, you are the reason I smile. Thank you Lord.